Be Aware of Seasonal Affective Disorder
I have lived with Lupus for 11 years now, and I have come to expect an increase in flare-ups during the fall season. This is why I am sharing my blog series, Preparing for the Changing Season, with you all. Over the years I have gathered some tips and tricks to help me adjust during the changing season and prevent flare-ups. Last year, however, was a little different and I was not prepared for what the fall of 2018 had in store.
October came as usual: crispy mornings, shorter daylight hours, and achy hands in the evenings. I was also experiencing the usual fatigue and a low-spirited mood. This all seemed normal to me, so I figured it would all pass by November. I usually feel better once the changing weather has settled.
But suddenly it was mid-November, and I still felt incredibly sad. I went to visit my Rheumatologist for my usual check-up and told him about what I was experiencing. I wondered if maybe I was having some unusual Lupus activity.
My doctor said it seemed like Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a mood disorder that is brought on by seasonal changes. Feelings of hopelessness that won't go away, loss of interest in social activities, and problems with sleep patterns and appetite are some indicators of SAD.
But if SAD is not necessarily a Lupus-related symptom, why is this important to know to prevent flare-ups during the changing season? When you are dealing with SAD, you make decisions differently than you normally do. This could have significant impact on your health and autoimmune disease. When I was struggling with SAD, I was more tempted to skip the gym, some days I would skip my Lupus medication, and I would make poor food choices, but I didn’t care at the time.
I have to be honest. It was difficult for me to accept that I was dealing with depression. But what my doctor explained to me made sense. The shorter days, colder weather, and lack of sunlight can make me feel...well, sad. Even though I was living one of the happiest seasons of my life, some days I would find myself crying for no reason. I would simply feel compelled to cry, and I would.
My doctor offered to prescribe me medication for SAD but said that by the time it would take effect, I would probably start feeling better on my own. Most individuals with SAD begin to feel better after the Winter Solstice, December 21st. This is when the days slowly begin to get longer again.
Considering the potential benefit would have been brief, I did some research on alternative ways to deal with SAD. I am not against taking medication for mental health disorders, I simply wanted to find the best option for me. The following three are the combination that I decided to use.
1. Increase vitamin D intake. Vitamin D is important for bone health (it helps absorb calcium), hormone balance, and immune health. The best way to get vitamin D is sun exposure. Most individuals that work indoors, live in the northern half of the US, or apply sunscreen anytime they go outside do not get adequate amounts of vitamin D. The changing season leads most people to spend the majority of their day inside, an even greater deficiency in vitamin D is created. A second source of vitamin D is food; salmon, eggs, and mushrooms are great sources of vitamin D3, the most easily absorbed. You would need to consume an obnoxious amount of these foods to meet the recommended 1,000-5,000 IU per day. So I chose an easier approach.
I choose to supplement with Garden of Life Raw D3 Supplement. If you know me, you know that I am supportive of getting vitamins and minerals primarily from food sources -- and only supplementing when your BALANCED diet does not meet those needs. Supplements are meant to supplement, not replace. I knew that this would be a short-term approach until the weather got warmer. After a few weeks of consistently taking my vitamin D supplement, I did begin to notice a change in my mood, my thought patterns, and my overall demeanor.
2. Cognitive Therapy. Although this was already a regular part of my health care, I did choose to talk with my counselor about how SAD was affecting me. Talk out your feelings with either a loved one or a professional. I believe that having someone outside of your normal day-to-day life can be beneficial to give you a different perspective on life and help process certain situations. A professional counselor can also help you sort through feelings, assess decisions, and be a source of accountability for behavior change, all without being judgemental. It’s like having your very own pep squad!
Mental health awareness is becoming more center stage in our culture. And that’s a good thing! Even if you are not dealing with SAD, having a therapist as a part of your regular health care team can have a positive impact on your overall health. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I am a believer that our bodies follow our mind. A healthy mind produces a healthy body. Living with an autoimmune disease can create a lot of unresolved feelings that can manifest in flare-ups. Do not brush off feelings of resentment, anger, or frustration. Address them. A counselor creates a safe space to sort through those feelings and help you thrive with an autoimmune disease.
3. Grace. Lastly, but most importantly, if you find yourself dealing with SAD, give yourself grace. Show yourself kindness. You are human.
All of my fellow perfectionists, raise your hands. I’ve got two hands up over here. In all honesty, sometimes I believe God allowed me to have an autoimmune disease to remind me that I am not perfect, nor do I need to try to be.
Dealing with SAD last year was TOUGH. I wanted to fix my sadness, to make it go away. But the more I tried, the more it seemed to grow. I had to be honest with myself about how I felt. Some days were harder than others, but more than anything I hung on to the light on the other side of winter. It will come. And as I write this, I can feel those same feelings from last year creeping up. I am not immune to it; no one is. SAD is very real, and it could also be happening to you. And it is okay! You do not have to pretend everything is fine when you do not feel fine. You do not have to hide your feelings. You do not have to face SAD alone.
Feel what you feel, whatever you feel. Let yourself be okay with acknowledging and embracing your feelings, even if they are different each day. Ignoring your feelings will only intensify them. But recognizing how you feel will allow you to give yourself what you need. That can be time to yourself, time with a loved one, or seeking professional help when necessary.
During my season of SAD, the hardest thing to do was to give myself grace. But I knew if God could love me and meet me exactly where I was, then I could allow myself some grace as well. I did not have to be perfect or put up a strong front; I could be me as I was in that moment. Give yourself that grace today.
An autoimmune disease sometimes means more than a disordered immune system. It oftentimes means uncertainty: uncertainty of what is and what is to come. But I’ve learned to embrace each day and season as it comes. There will always be new challenges; and SAD was indeed challenging. But like any true autoimmune warrior, I took it as an opportunity to learn more about myself, my health, and the things this world can bring. If you find yourself dealing with SAD, remind yourself that this too shall pass; it is temporary. Get your vitamin D, seek a professional counselor, and give yourself grace, EVERY. DAY.
